Catching up with... Gavin Esler
By Harvey Blazquez
Chancellor Gavin Esler
Gavin Esler is probably crying after he failed to win Celebrity Masterchef. Greg Wallace and John Torode proudly displayed their lack of knowledge, disagreeing with the guest judges over the cooked-ness of Gav’s scallops. Students at the university collectively shed tears as Torode harshly commented that Gavinho’s sorbet looked more like a soup than a dessert. Gavin (and Stacey) has been known on campus as a soup-lover of sorts. One on occasion he was found shoving boiled £50 notes in a blender, having no idea what to do with his excessive earnings. To be fair, Gavvy Boy has earned the paycheque, with Kent students able to roll out fresh chants aimed at CCCU students in the upcoming Varsity showdowns. You can hear them already “Our figurehead Chancellor was on Celebrity Masterchef – you’ll never sing that!”
Views expressed in InQuire's satire articles are those only of the writer and InQuire does not endorse any of these opinions, this section is dedicated to entertainment purposes only. We use fictitious characters in our stories, except in regards to public figures being satirised directly.
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