InSight: An Interview with Dan Esson

By Tahmid Morshed

Photo by Marlon P.

I interviewed fellow InQuire editor Dan about his thoughts on things. For context, Dan is the current website opinion editor. This is what happened.

What is your name?

Daniel Ryan Esson.

What are you?

I suppose that depends on what you mean. I’m a student. I write. That’s about it, I suppose.

Why are you?

I’m a student because I want a certificate that gives me a better chance of getting a job. I’m a writer because I have no career prospects other than professionally having opinions.

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What do you think are the latest Winter fashion trends of 2021?

I see trench coats appear to be going back into fashion. Which is a shame ‘cause it threatens my sense of individuality. Not really sure to be honest, I don't keep up that well with fashion.

What is your opinion on the original Ghost in the Shell films?

The anime films? Never actually seen them. Never actually seen them. I suppose it’s a tick against my weaboo credentials.

What is the one album you keep listening to right now?

Same album that’s been my favourite for a while. It’s called Animals by a band called This Town Needs Guns. Sort of an Oxford, indie, math rockish band.

If you can give one piece of advice to nobody in particular, what would it be?

Stay in school if you feel like it. If not, get a good honest trade.

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Most favourite trade deal?

I'm not really a fan of any. Most of them are trojan horses for exploitation of one kind or another. I suppose, I might be wrong about this, but the deal from a few months ago. Our former international trade secretary Lis Truss negotiated us a tariff free import of rice to Japan. Which I’m sure will be very helpful for a country that produces a lot of rice. So, I suppose that's my favourite as it’s very funny compared to most trade deals which are just slightly upsetting.

Rank your favourite colours of crayons.

Gotta be maroon at the top because that's my favourite colour broadly. Maroon, purple, blue, green, yellow, black, white, and brown.

Name one InQuire department to save and one to scrap.

You can’t make me do that. But as opinion editor, I’m obliged to save opinion above all. I don't know for the other ones. I’d have to roll the dice to decide to be honest. I wouldn't willingly get rid of any of them.

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Citrus or berries?

Citrus, sure. Not a big fan of berries.

Views expressed in InQuire's satire articles are those only of the writer and InQuire does not endorse any of these opinions, this section is dedicated to entertainment purposes only. We use fictitious characters in our stories, except in regards to public figures being satirised directly.