Politics Explained

By Hyunseok Ryu

Photo by Pexels

A brief overview of politics for comedic reasons. Enjoy.

Liberals

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You DON’T want to cut tax credits? Bugger off mate, you’re a liberal shut up. Remember, liberals are wallies and are undeserving of sympathy. Anything they achieved is meaningless.

Corbyn

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The Jewish love him, trust me.

Tories

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Doesn’t matter what they think or what they do if they’re a Tory. A Tory could save a drowning child but they’re still a Tory, anything good they do is automatically invalidated if you’re a Tory, remember that. No, I will not elaborate further.

Labour Party

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They’re national socialists, oh wait no they’re social fascists, as we learn from the wise teachings of Norman Tebbit.

LibDems

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They’re worthless, don’t bother with them. Sorry that I gave a legit fact rather than a satirical one.

Scottish National Party

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The SNP are thieves, they took away Labour seats. Marmite interpretations there, love it or hate it.

Right-wing

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If you’re right-wing you’re wrong. What you have substantiated reasons and you have intellectual capability? Don’t care you’re wrong.

Left-wing

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I like my politics to just the left of Marx, anybody else who is even slightly to the right of him is a false lefty. No, YOU’RE intolerant.

Gordon Brown

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Windfall tax and Iraq. Need I say more?

David Cameron

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A sad, sad Etonian that just can’t be Boris Johnson.

British National Party

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A totally not fascist party that totally loves Lenny Henry.

People who get offended by this article

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Mate, have a laugh or don’t click on this article.

Views expressed in InQuire's satire articles are those only of the writer and InQuire does not endorse any of these opinions, this section is dedicated to entertainment purposes only. We use fictitious characters in our stories, except in regards to public figures being satirised directly.