Tinder bios: What do they actually mean?

(Image courtesy of Unsplash)

7th November 2021

By Ainy Shiyam

We all know that the world of online dating can be a minefield. Have you ever matched with someone whose bio seemed too good to be true? Well lucky for you, I’m here to breakdown what the bio actually means.

Includes the Snapchat handle: probably not in it for the long-haul, will send you some explicit pictures and will expect the same in return.

Includes the Instagram handle: This can mean three things. Its either:

1. They’re an artist and want to show you their portfolio.

2. They have a fitness page.

3. They’re an influencer.

Or all of the above.

Includes the Twitter handle: Loves to roast the heck out of people and showcasing that they have an amazing sense of humour.

“Here for a good time not for a long time”: Has either had a near death experience or definitely looking for a f*ckbuddy.

“Not looking for anything serious”: Personally, I like people who get to the point instead of beating around the bush. Straight to the point not settling down anytime soon.

“Just got out of a relationship”: Again, not looking for a relationship. Do yourself a favour and don’t be the therapist to breakdown what went wrong in their previous relationship.

“In the city for a few days and looking for someone to explore the city with”: Looking for a casual hook up. They might make it a habit if they are travelling so if you’re looking for anything serious, don’t go for it.

“Explorer. Love to travel”: Will definitely tell you stories about their gap year to Asia. Most likely looking for a one night stand.

“6ft 2”: Tall. That’s all. Or beware, not as tall as they’re claiming

“Hoping to find a nice girl with an open-mind”: Definitely self-conscious about their ego and most definitely their height.

“City boy”: Most probably a lawyer, doctor, or a banker. Will be busy at work and won’t have time for you.

“I’m kinda new to this”: Either recently got out of a very long relationship or had been using Tinder for more than a year unsuccessfully.

“Graduate”: Unemployed

“Musician”: Might look fit in his pictures and has one with his instrument of choice. Again. Unemployed.

“Actor”: Unemployed with an over inflated ego

“Lawyer”: A trainee solicitor or a pupil barrister (not yet a lawyer, should probably be reported for misrepresentation)

“Investment Banker”: Watched The Wolf of Wall Street and wants the same life as Jordan Belfort but without going to jail so RUN.

“Doctor”: In most cases its normal to assume that they are a junior doctor, unless stated their speciality.

“Separated”: RED FLAG. Do yourself a favour, swipe left instantly. Don’t be the rebound or the home wrecker.

“Married”: RED FLAG. I REPEAT. RED FLAG.

“Not my baby it’s my niece, nephew”: Can mean two things

1) Showing they are loving and wants children (maternal/paternal instincts are palpable)

2) Straight up lying and didn’t have a better picture of them.

If its number two, as soon as you know it. *BLOCK, BLOCK, BLOCK*

“Gym Lad” or “No Pain, No Gain”: Making time for exercise and living a healthy lifestyle are both positives, but if someone doesn’t appear to have a personality other than gym life, that’s a red flag. Swipe to the LEFT!!!

“I’ll finish writing this later”: Well, I hate to break it to you. If they can’t commit to finishing off their bio what makes you think they’ll be committed to you? Not in it for the long haul. Or realistically, speaking not even in the short time.

“Looking for an adventure (followed by the wink emoji or the smirk emoji)”: Looking for something casual and bring your A game to the bedroom.

Photos with exes, love interests or anyone from the opposite sex: It’s perfectly fine to include a couple of pictures with your friends but if the same friend is in all your photos, it’s going to raise some eyebrows. There’s a lot that can be deduced from these pictures.

Cheesy pickup lines: cringeworthy and most of the time it is them trying to prove that they have a great sense of humour but desperately failing.