Tips for sustaining long-distance relationships

(Image courtesy of Unsplash)

12th October 2021

By Abbey Bryant

Starting university comes hand in hand with an abundance of new challenges: new people, new courses, and a profound sense of loneliness. Whether you’re loved up with your childhood sweetheart, or missing your friends back home, we have prepared a helpful list of tips and advice to help you ‘do the distance’ at university.

During the leadup to your university experience, the dread of having to face a ‘long distance’ relationship is very real. Though it is certainly not an ideal situation, it isn’t impossible. Initially, university is so overwhelming, you feel like a small fish thrown into a big pond, but eventually you learn to swim.

Although it sounds extremely cliché, university is definitely a time of self-discovery and growth. That being said, it can also be challenging time, so it is so important to surround yourself with supportive partners and friends who will facilitate an easy transition!

Whilst you settle into university and adjust to the chaos of your new student life, you may find it hard to juggle speaking to everyone. At home, talking to your parents and ringing your nan was an effortless past-time now suddenly it is so much harder to manage. In this situation make sure you take a step back and realise it’s okay to feel like you’re not doing enough, but your loved ones will understand. Admittedly, I definitely felt this way, but a simple text every couple of days and daily chats with your mum is enough reassurance for them!

Friends and family

Whilst your flatmates in first year initially seem like your cup of tea, nothing compares to your ‘home friends’, the familiar faces who know you inside out. For me, this is where the sense of loneliness really kick-started. Being surrounded by a flat of strangers is daunting, it was a weird adjustment not being surrounded by my entire friendship group in my Sixth Form common room.

Nonetheless, this made the meet-ups at Christmas and weekend university visits extra special. Though I sobbed when my best friend moved three hours from me, we support each other’s new path and definitely don’t feel threatened by the prospect of making new uni friends.You can survive distance with your friends! Facetime is your best friend throughout any long-distance circumstance. It is so comforting talking to them when university loneliness gets the better of you. Admittedly, my best friend and I used to have weekly emotional meltdowns to each other on Facetime, but it was always reassuring to know someone was on the same page as me!

Equally as important, your family! You will find yourself voluntarily Facetiming your brother to chat, this was weird for me too! Though finding the time to call everyone can seem like a daunting task, it is so comforting. Whether you’re calling your mum for some cooking advice, or you’ve got a spare fifteen minutes to chat when you’re walking to uni, they will appreciate the effort all the same!

Romantic relationships

I will not sugar-coat the emotional rollercoaster that is ‘long distance’ relationship. It sucks. But, have faith that it is manageable. Whether you’re the one at uni, the one at home, or you’re both starting university and simultaneously experiencing this new chapter, it is so important to be supportive and understanding. It is important to respect their new life, adjusting to uni is hard for both people in a relationship. Clubbing and drinking is a massive part of ‘uni culture’, let your partner soak up the excitement of Fresher’s Week, but also reassure them you are only a phone call away. Trusting your partner and having faith in your relationship are two factors which have allowed my relationship to flourish whilst we’re long distance.

My personal experience in a long-distance relationship has highlighted some crucial elements of a relationship such as patience, planning and trust. Without a mutual understanding, I feel we wouldn’t work as smoothly as we do. Be patient with your partner, understand that you’re adjusting to seeing each other less often and this will have some impact on your relationship. Plan your visits to each other, this gives a sense of excitement and feels even more special when you see them after a long wait. The most important thing for us has been trust, whether your partner is at a house party with unfamiliar faces, clubbing with their friends or venturing in their new university town, you have to trust them!

I hope this article has given you the confidence to manage long distant relationships while you’re at university! You won’t be the only one in this situation and communicating your feelings with your new friends can offer a world of solace.